A Holiday Survival Guide for Anyone Who’s Ever Feared the Food Table
For you and for those you love!
For so many years, the holidays were not about joy for me. They were about managing, planning, calculating, and either avoiding food or gorging on it until I was sick and so bloated, I looked 6 months pregnant.
As most of you already know, for over 15 years, I lived inside an eating disorder (bulimia + binge eating disorder) rooted in restriction—quiet, disciplined, socially approved restriction that looked “healthy” on the outside and felt suffocating on the inside. And when the holidays approached, my anxiety around food was all encompassing and stressful.
Since opening up about my past eating disorder on Instagram many years ago, I learned that I’m not the only one that is fearful around food or has some type of uneasy or troubled relationship with it.
I know this because every time I talk about holiday eating—about guilt, fear, or the voice telling you to “be good,” my DMs fill with the same stories, from people of all ages, all bodies, and backgrounds. I’ve heard stories about skipping meals to “prepare.” I’ve heard stories about eating in secret and when the relatives and friends aren’t looking. I’ve heard stories bout feeling ashamed for enjoying food, and plans to wake up the next day and exercise it all off.
So today’s post is a little guide to help you or anyone you know that could use a little pep talk as we approach the biggest food day of the year.
The Truth We Forget
If you walk away from one thing today, remember this.
Holiday eating is not a measure of your worth, discipline, or identity. It’s one day, one meal, and one moment of your entire life. Your body isn’t keeping score, and your value does not fluctuate based on how many cookies you eat or whether you went back for another serving of pumpkin pie. And no one is paying attention to what your plate looks like because they are busy paying attention to themselves. And last, you don’t have to earn or justify your food choices—to yourself or anyone else.
A Holiday Survival Guide for Anyone Who’s Ever Feared the Food Table
These are the tools I use now—after years of healing from restrictive eating—and the same ones I see helping so many others who struggle with food around the holidays.
1. Eat normally throughout the day.
This one is huge. Skipping meals to “save up” is restriction in disguise—and it almost always leads to guilt, overeating, or feeling out of control later.
Your task:
Eat just like you normally would on any given day—a protein packed breakfast, lunch, etc. Let your body trust you.
2. Let yourself enjoy the foods you actually love.
Restriction creates craving. Permission creates peace. This is what my therapist used to tell me all the time when I was healing my relationship with food. And every time my mind goes to a negative place or restrictive thoughts rear their head, I remind myself that permission creates peace. You don’t need to earn your favorite holiday foods. You’re allowed to enjoy them simply because they bring you joy.
Your task:
No matter how difficult it may be, give yourself unconditional permission to eat the foods that matter to you.
3. Identify the stories you’re telling yourself.
Is it: “I shouldn’t have this”? “I’m being bad”? “I need to make up for this tomorrow!”Those aren’t facts—they are old narratives you’ve outgrown.
Your task:
When negative thoughts come up, ask yourself: Whose voice is this?
4. Make it about the people—not the plate.
The holidays are about connecting with your loved ones and creating memories. And whether you like it or not, memories are often created around the table, around a spread of food that others lovingly prepared for enjoyment together.
Your task:
Shift your attention away from your plate and onto the conversation, the jokes, Uncle Dave’s ridiculous stories (hopefully not about politics lol), and the moment you’re actually in.
5. Stop participating in body talk.
Comments like: “I’m being so bad today.” “I’m going to regret this.” “I feel huge.”
These statements have energy—they feed anxiety and shame. And the more you surround yourself with people at the gathering that speak this way, the more you start to internalize it.
Your task:
Gently redirect the conversation. Or internally opt out. You got this!
6. Practice one moment of grounding.
This one might sound silly, but taking a moment of grounding and mindfulness is extremely helpful because it shifts the internal conversation to one of gratitude.
Your task:
A 10-second pause to ground yourself. Before you eat the meal, take a breath. Place your hand on your stomach, and say to yourself yourself: “I am safe. I am allowed to eat. I am allowed to enjoy this. I am grateful.”
7. Give yourself grace afterward.
If you feel uncomfortable physically or mentally, that’s okay. The holiday foods are typically heavier and richer than you normally eat on any given day, so feeling a bit uncomfortable is normal. Keep it in perspective. It doesn’t mean you “messed up.”
It means you’re human.
Your task:
End the night with compassion, not criticism. And remember, healing is a practice, not a performance.
A Few Things That Support a Kinder Holiday Season (Optional Resources)
The mindfulness journal I reach for whenever I feel overwhelmed
My favorite holiday candle (I light this every morning during the season)
The nightly tea that helps me reset and calm down instead of spiral
The coziest blanket ever that calms my nervous system instantly (so much so, I have 5 haha!)
My portable (and gorgeousssss) kitchen speaker that lets me play calming music so cooking is joyful instead of stressful
You’re Not Alone In This
If the holidays around food feel overwhelming, you’re not the only one. Whether your struggle looks like mine once did, or whether it’s simply the holiday pressure getting to you, I hope this season feels lighter, kinder, and more grounded than years past. And if you know someone in your life that would benefit from these little reminders, please send them my post! ☺️
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Happy Thanksgiving, KJ fam, I love you all!