Why I Don't Do New Year's Resolutions

And what we should all be doing instead

Every year around this time, my Instagram feed fills up with posts like: “New year, new me.” “I’m doing a full reset.” “Dry January, 75 Hard, waking up at 5am.” And every year, I do a little eye roll and cringe inside because NO. Just no.

I don’t set New Year’s resolutions and I never have. And it’s not because I don’t care about growth or goals or bettering myself, because I do. A lot. But resolutions have always felt like this very public promise to become a completely different person overnight. And committing to make grand changes kind of feels like punishment for “transgressions,” like overindulging over the holidays, letting ourselves slack a bit with workouts, etc. And honestly? That feels exhausting before the year even starts.

I am already juggling a lot. In my single mom world, I am running a huge business and overseeing a team. I develop recipes and create content for millions of people. I’m a mom to two active boys (8 and 10, which somehow feels both easier and harder than toddlers). And as of a week ago, I’m also raising a puppy named Logan, who has no respect for human personal belongings and believes socks are a delicacy lol. Life is full. Good full. But full.

And it’s not just ME. YOU are juggling a lot too. So instead of resolutions this year, I invite you to do something quieter, more realistic, and way more effective.

Let’s reset.

I reset.

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Why resolutions don’t work

Here’s my issue with resolutions: they’re usually extreme, rigid, and rooted in guilt and punishment. They sound like:

• “I’m going to work out every single day.”

• “I’m cutting out sugar / carbs / alcohol.”

• “I’m going to be less stressed and more present.”

And then real life happens. Someone gets sick and now you can’t workout for a week. Work explodes and stress kicks in and you grab a handful of cookies to self-soothe. School schedules change. A puppy pees on your rug (speaking from experience 🙋🏻‍♀️). And suddenly it’s January 14th and you feel like you already failed the year. And that’s why don’t believe in starting a brand new year from a place of failure.

Especially not in this phase of life, where I’m not trying to prove anything. I’m trying to support myself and show myself more kindness.

Resolutions rely on motivation. Motivation is unreliable because sometimes we just don’t have the motivation.

So instead, I rely on reflection.

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The New Year isn’t a reinvention—it’s a check-in

I don’t wake up on January 1st trying to become a new person. I like the person I am. She’s a 45-year old woman doing her best.

What I do use the new year for is asking better questions:

• What worked last year?

• What (and who) drained me?

• What made my life easier?

• What felt heavy for no real reason?

• What do I want more of—and what am I done forcing?

No pressure. No timeline. No aesthetic expectations. Just honesty.

I always break this into two categories: personal resets and professional resets.

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My personal reset (nothing dramatic, everything intentional)

This is not about overhauling my life. It’s about small, practical changes that make my days feel lighter.

1. I reset my environment (slowly, not all at once)

I don’t do a full-house purge. That stresses me out. Instead, I tackle things in small bites. For example, I spend a lot of time in my office and over the year, the drawers are filled with old receipts, papers, files, mismatched pens, etc. So, since a zen office environment is important to me, I start with the office because clearing physical clutter always clears mental clutter for me.

Other examples of resetting my environment:

• Doing a full refrigerator purge and organization

• Throwing away expired spices and organizing the spice drawer

• Declutter kitchen cabinets—if I haven’t used something this year, I never will)

• Donate/sell old clothing to make room for what I have

• Put on fresh bedding that I love

• Donate toys and clothing that the boys no longer wear

• Putting the Christmas decor away until next year

• Clean my coffee station so it’s functional (coffee is my fav part of the day!)

Nothing fancy. Just things that quietly make daily life smoother.

2. I simplify routines instead of adding more

I’m not suddenly becoming a 5am person. I know myself too well. Instead, I ask:

• What routines actually helped me last year?

• Which ones felt forced or performative?

This year, my reset looks like:

• Making my bed each day

• Less rushing in the mornings

• Easier breakfasts and lunches for the boys and packing lunches the night before

• Enjoying my evenings watching a show or reading a book, instead of always working through them

Sometimes growth looks like doing less, not more.

3. I reset my relationship with food (again and again)

Food is literally my job—but it’s also my comfort, creativity, and sometimes the first thing I neglect when life gets busy. I don’t do:

• “Clean eating January” or “Dry January”

• Detoxes

• Cutting things out “just because it’s January”

Instead, I reset by making food support my life.

That means:

• Stocking my freezer with easy meals (you know all those delicious soups I’ve shared with you this year? I make double batches and freeze them).

• Keeping ingredients on hand for dinners I know my kids will eat

• Cooking things that sound comforting, not restrictive.

Food should make your life easier — not give you another thing to feel behind about.

Food should make your life easier — not give you another thing to feel behind about.

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My professional reset (how I protect my energy and my business)

When you run a business, there’s always more you could do. Churn out more content. Say yes to more projects. More ideas. And although I am most excited to share new recipes and content the moment January 1 rolls around, the new year is when I zoom out instead of piling on.

1. I look at what actually worked

Not what I thought should matter—what actually did. I ask myself questions like: What moved the needle? What brought in revenue and what felt like a waste of time?
What felt aligned and effective? That’s what gets more attention from me this year.

2. I question what didn’t

This is uncomfortable, but necessary. If something drained me and didn’t meaningfully serve my business or my life, I ask why I’m still doing it. To get more specific, I realized I posted new content on Instagram 5-6 days a week. And while I love it, it didn’t really lead to more growth or more connection, because at times I focused on quantity > quality. So this year I will be scaling way back to 3-4x week (max) to invite more room for creativity and success. Because remember, busy does not equal successful and exhausted does not equal productive.

3. I set focus points, not resolutions

I don’t make massive professional declarations. I choose a few guiding intentions.

Things like:

• Being more protective of my time

• Streamlining systems that create friction

• Leaving more room for creativity instead of burnout

Small, intentional shifts compound in a way big resolutions never do.

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Why this works (and why I keep doing it)

Resets are flexible. Resolutions are rigid. Resets leave room for real life; things like change, grace, and seasons that don’t look productive on paper but matter deeply. Some years I grow aggressively (remember the year of the crispy rice salads? My growth was insane!). Some years I’m just holding everything together (remember when I was going through a divorce while trying to show up on Instagram and many of you told me my vibe was off? Well it was). And all of that counts.

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If you’re feeling behind already…

You’re not. You don’t need a new planner, a new diet, or a new personality to start the year “right.” You don’t need to announce anything publicly on social media or commit to something extreme. You just need permission to do things your way. So if resolutions make you feel anxious, restricted or boxed in, consider this your sign to skip them all together—join me in resetting. Reflect. Make small changes. And let the year unfold.

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A note on why I write here (and why paid subscriptions matter)

I share a lot online—free recipes, tips, quick moments of life. But this space is different. Substack is where I slow down. Where I write honestly about motherhood, work, food, ambition, burnout, balance, and all the in-between stuff we don’t usually caption.

If you’re a paid subscriber, you’re supporting:

• the work that happens behind the scenes

• deeper posts like this

• more intentional, thoughtful content (not just what performs best on social)

And truly—it means more than you know.

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And, SURPRISE!

My Substack is getting a HUGE REVAMP in T-2 weeks, where paid subscribers are going to get some massive new benefits (hello, meal plans!). This will be rolled out on my Instagram in the coming weeks, but I urge you to get your spot beforehand and be entered to win some incredible prizes.

Thank you for being here and for supporting my work and my little family!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! xo, Nicole, Gavyn, Hunter, and Logan Modic